Privelege, Power, and Difference

In reading Privelege, Power, and Difference, (Johnson, 2001) my pen and highlighter had a life of their own. I don't think I've ever written so many margin notes in my educational experience. At the end of the reading, I was left with many questions. Johnson described a dinner meeting with a black, female colleague in which he "struggled with how to sit across from her and talk and eat" lunch with her. He said it felt "risky" to discuss the truth of race. I was overwhelmed with the question, "So, can ideology change?" We are all attuned, to some degree or another, that throughout the course of history, change exists. In this country, slavery has been abolished, woman have the right to vote and gays and lesbians have a voice in their future. But, ideology? If a scholar whose profession is teaching about ideology is so troubled by the act of talking honestly about this subject, how can the average American find their way in this complicated dialogue?

My second question was even more personal. After taking the IAT on-line profile in class tonight, I returned home to read Johnson. I was struck by my lack of anxiety over the results of my test. I was in fact not disturbed by the results as was implied beforehand. Why was I not disturbed? This question found it's way to my margin notes when Johnson said that "the words are not about me because they name something much larger than me, something I didn't invent or create, but that was passed on to me as a legacy when I was born into society." Even more curious was the guilt by the Caucasian-Americans on the video at the end of class, in comparison to the racial pride of the African-Americans interviewed. Has society approved a new African-American reaction? Is that in fact change? Or, have I spent so many hours exploring socio-cultural issues as a public school teacher and education major, that I understand that my feelings about race are, in fact, "not about me".

The third and final question must, of course, be asked, What is my responsibility to "tap on or crack the pane glass window", as Dr. Bogad described. This is a problem I thought I was solving every day in my classroom and in fact since my childhood. I was raised by a single mother in the 1950's in the inner city of Albany, New York. My mother, at a time in history when racism was overt and common place, taught us through her discussion and behavior, that all people were to be treated equally and with respect. There was no prejudicial language or action allowed in my home. I raised my own children with the same values that my mother raised me. I have chosen to teach in a diverse, inner-city school district, continue to educate myself and live a life I am proud of. Does it just take time for ideology to change, as slavery, voting rights and vocalizing sexual preference where addressed in our society, or is there something that will bring change faster? Or, will there always be those who will not change?